Awakened Anesthetist

Going Viral Changed My Life (but not how you expect)

• Mary Jeanne, Certified Anesthesiologist Assistant • Season 4 • Episode 55

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If you missed the viral video mentioned in this episode you can watch (or rewatch) it HERE ~credit @CAALifestyle

In this Season 4 premiere I share how going viral in May 2024 changed my life. I give you all the juicy details and my final take away is something you won't expect. I FINALLY learned a big lesson, once and for all.

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Speaker 1:

Then I worked two eights and I made $100,000. Now I'm working 110 and I'm making $100,000. So one 10-hour shift a week, starting this summer, end of this summer, I'll make $100,000 gross. Of course that's not take-home.

Speaker 2:

If you've seen that viral video from At CAA Lifestyle, also known as Trebelli Rodriguez style also known as Trebelli Rodriguez she is a CAA YouTuber and Instagrammer and content creator then you know that video got huge within our CAA community and I'm about to share the behind the scenes of how that video came to be my life leading up to that video, my headspace and truly, truly how that viral video changed my life. So if any of that sounds interesting, stick around for this season four. Premiere episode of Awakened Anesthetist Podcast. Welcome to the Awakened Anesthetist Podcast, the first podcast to highlight the CAA experience. I'm your host, mary Jean, and I've been a certified anesthesiologist assistant for close to two decades. Throughout my journey and struggles, I've searched for guidance that includes my unique perspective as a CAA. At one of my lowest points, I decided to turn my passion for storytelling and my belief that the CAA profession is uniquely able to create a life by design into a podcast. If you are a practicing CAA, current AA student or someone who hopes to be one, I encourage you to stick around and experience the power of being in a community filled with voices who sound like yours the power of being in a community filled with voices who sound like yours, sharing experiences you never believed possible. I know you will find yourself here at the Awakened Anesthetist Podcast.

Speaker 2:

Welcome in, welcome to season four of the Awakened Anesthetist podcast. I'm really, as you can tell, excited to be here recording season four. I wasn't sure that I was going to have a season four or ever possibly restart Awaken Anesthetist at the end of spring this year, spring 2024. A lot of my life was up in the air. A lot of my life was up in the air, and I'm really excited, in this Season 4 premiere episode, to share how going viral changed my life and I'm pretty sure it's not what you expect me to say. So welcome everyone, welcome my CAA community, all my certified anesthesiologist assistant colleagues, all the AA students who I know are out there listening, and to all of those who are considering becoming a CAA and tuning in to hear more of the behind the scenes, to get a feel of what their future life could hold. I welcome you all. This community is so special to me and I really am excited to be back. So let's jump into this season four episode on how going viral changed my life. Okay, y'all.

Speaker 2:

So let's start with a bit of the setup, the backstory about how this viral video even came into existence. So this year, at the Quad A Conference, which is the national conference for certified anesthesiologist assistants the Quad A is our, like, national governing board At the national conference this year, which was in Orlando, I was speaking and recording that podcast that you just heard. If you listened to the last episode, it was a live interview with the current Quad A president, whose name is Danny Massaros. So I was there doing those two things and Chabeli and I, who have become friendly because we're both CAAs and content creators and we knew that each other was going to be at the Quad A. So as I'm sort of finishing up my day from speaking and doing the live interview, which was the first day of the live interview, which was the first day of the quad A, which was a Friday, I run into Jebelly in the hallway, who actually had a whole bunch of flight issues and got there really late. So she was kind of running into sort of the midday of day one and she and I met and we hugged. We had never seen each other in person before and we hugged. We had never seen each other in person before and shortly after meeting she asked if I would be interested in recording just a real quick interview for her YouTube channel.

Speaker 2:

She had brought her supplies and was trying to get little interviews about people's financial journeys. Chabeli is really interested in financial literacy as a CAA and how our profession has helped her meet goals towards financial independence and early retirement. And so she was like you know, you're a part-time CAA there's not a lot of part-time CAAs and you've been CAA for so long. You're kind of out in the public eye already. Would you mind sharing some of your financial numbers and just any part of the journey that you're comfortable sharing? And I, of course, was riding high off of really bearing my heart and soul, you know, in these two big ways of the quad A. I was like, yeah, absolutely, I'm an open book, let's do it. So we just kind of usher ourselves over to the side of this huge hallway, like in this massive hotel where we're having this huge conference, and just at a little side table she clips a mic onto me and asked me maybe five questions. The interview was maybe 10 minutes and at the end she was like okay, this is great, good job. I'm going to look through what I have after the quad day ends and I'll probably create a YouTube video. I'll let you know what comes of it. Okay, cool, so we go about our day.

Speaker 2:

The rest of the quad A happens. I basically am a participant for the remainder of the quad A. It was a fantastic, amazing, super exhausting experience. Personally, I was coming off of basically two professional highs, two life goals. Speaking on the Quad A stage about CAA wellness and then doing that live interview. Those were just goals I had set out for myself, probably in 2020, like far off goals, like maybe one day that would happen. And then this year, in 2024, those two things both happened and I just felt so embodied. I was so proud of where my profession had allowed me to go in terms of like reaching. What I felt like was this full expression of who I am, like I'm not just a CAA, but I'm also a speaker and a teacher and a leader and you know all the things. I just was feeling so, so good.

Speaker 2:

And then, over the course of the remainder of the quad A, after I did this interview with Chabeli, I don't know, my body just started to crash, like my mental, my physical energy started to crash. I suppose that's probably normal after you do something huge, I guess. But it was so surprising and shocking to me that by the end of the quad A, I found myself really reconsidering everything I thought that this moment was going to launch me into. I, for example, had taken a bunch of emails at the Quad A when I was speaking. I had people, you know, hit a QR code and then input their information and we were going to start this wellness initiative and I just had so much energy and I think over 60 people put in their email and before the quad day, I thought, okay, I'm going to do this with the emails and then we're going to like, do this initiative. And you know all the things. This is not new. If you're not familiar with my story, you can go back and listen to my process episodes.

Speaker 2:

But I'm a dreamer, I am creative, I am passionate. I am also really capable. I think CAAs are all really capable and so oftentimes we get an idea and we're like, yeah, we're going to do that, let's make it happen. And then we hit the ground at 100 and just you know, drive it down. And at 100, and just you know, drive it down.

Speaker 2:

And maybe, like this instance, you find yourself just totally burned out, not necessarily overwhelmed, but I just had no energy. I just I couldn't understand how I was ever going to go on. And, of course, when you're tired and low, everything feels doom and gloom, but that's basically my headspace. When I was leaving the Quad A, I just wasn't sure what I was going to do. I didn't know how I was ever going to sustain the energy it appeared it was going to take to do all the things as well as live the other aspects of my life. And so I flew home and I just, you know, over the next couple of days, just laid low. I gave myself a lot of permission to rest, which has been a new skill that I've learned how to implement, and I try to give myself a lot of compassion and not beat myself up over, you know, not immediately editing the episode with Dani or not immediately emailing everyone who I had connected with or following up on leads on the podcast. I just kind of let it set for a while, which was extremely uncomfortable and also basically my only option because I was so exhausted.

Speaker 2:

And then, about maybe three or four days into this sort of rest, reset period after the quad A, chabeli texts me and was like, hey, I finished editing the interview we did and it actually is going to become some short form content, which is content creator speak for, like the little videos on Instagram and TikTok, like a reel and then a video on TikTok whatever those are called. And you know, cool, great, sounds awesome, chabeli, go ahead. And Chabeli was like well, I just wanted to let you know that I have a feeling that this might get some traction. You're talking about money, you're talking about money in kind of a different way and you're just being really open. So I wouldn't be surprised if you get some traction off of this. You know, just wanted to let you know. Okay, cool, sounds awesome, trebelli. So she posted the next day.

Speaker 2:

I have an account for the Awakened Nestis, if you'd like to follow me on Instagram at Awakenedestis, and I get a notification that Chabeli posted the video and very quickly I can see that you know, certainly more people than my normal amount are viewing this reel and they're posting questions and they're tagging me and I'm getting some DMs and I was like, oh my gosh, look just what Chabeli said. Like it's getting some traction. This is awesome. I'm answering these questions just one on one, like when you DM me or comment. You know I'm by no means flooded with them on a normal basis, so I just message you right back and I'm like, okay, and it kind of starting to pick up. And I'm like I'm gonna go check TikTok. Just, I have an account, but I don't use it very often for the podcast, and by that I mean almost never.

Speaker 2:

And I find the video that Chabeli posted there and on TikTok it had almost a million views within a very short period of time as soon as it was posted. And I was like, oh my goodness, like it appears like this maybe is going viral on TikTok. So I go back to Instagram, just like in the moment, to see what's going on. Back to Instagram, just like in the moment, to see what's going on, and on Instagram it's at like 500,000 views. Now, in perspective here, most of my reels that I create, I get maybe 3000 views or something. So this has far exceeded anything that I've ever done myself or been involved in.

Speaker 2:

And again, this is something that Chabeli created and Chabeli posted. But because my name was in it, like I was getting tagged and everything within it, and it just snowballed from there very, very quickly. And so I'm texting Chabeli like this is happening. This is going viral. What are you doing? Are you trying to answer all these comments?

Speaker 2:

I was just so fixated, for whatever reason, on trying to answer every single comment and every single DM and give people really thoughtful responses. I mean, this has never happened to me before, so that was just my gut response. This is crazy, this is wild. This is, you know, really exciting. Also, like very awesome. But I, of course, am tapping away trying to answer everything and I get a DM on Instagram from a mom of a high schooler who's asking me very intricate questions about her high schoolers courses and whether she's gonna I don't know have the prereqs to then get into college, then have the prereqs into AA school, and just very detailed. Like I could tell she just wanted me to make it easy for her as opposed to doing the research herself. And I just had this moment of clarity, like, okay, I can see what's going on here. I already don't have any energy to give to myself or to my family coming off the quad A.

Speaker 2:

And then this huge, huge professional moment happens for me, and I'm not talking about the quad A lecture. And then this huge, huge professional moment happens for me, and I'm not talking about the quad, a lecture, or interviewing Danny. I'm talking about this viral video Like this is a massive exposure moment for me and for my platform and my message. And I had this burning itchy like, oh God, I got to capitalize on this and I got to push and I got to move forward and I got to make more videos and respond. And this bless high school mother who DM'd me just snapped me out of it enough to be like, oh, I see what's happening here. What's happening here is the thing that I always do. I am passionate and I get too deep into something and then I lose my boundaries and I forget why I'm doing it and I just end up sacrificing too many other things in order to accomplish the goal or the thing that I had set out for myself. And I just felt this so viscerally when I was going through this viral video moment.

Speaker 2:

And you know, when you've been learning a lesson like your whole life, I've probably been trying to learn this lesson since 2020. And the you know universe or spirit or life or whatever you believe, keeps sending you ways to learn the same lesson and it just sort of sinks in. But then you do it again and again, and again. And then at one time in your life it just happens and you're like, oh, I see this isn't ever going to stop happening until I put my foot down, learn this lesson and move forward with a lot more intentionality.

Speaker 2:

And in prepping for this podcast and sharing this story, I was telling my husband and he's like, well, what is the lesson? Like you need to say what the lesson is. And he's like you're being too, you know, up in the clouds with it. I'm like well, you know, when you are saying yes to something, and that yes, by virtue of saying yes, means you've said no to a thousand other things, and I always struggle with that because I want to do those thousand other things as well as the thing I said yes to. And he was like yeah, you mean the thing that I told you back in 2020 when we first started our podcast together. We were talking about this exact lesson and how, during that time, I was trying to transition from full-time anesthesia work to part-time work. And you know, I was just had all these balls in the air. And he's like I said that exact thing to you in 2020 on air, on the podcast you could go back and listen to it, I'm like well, apparently it took several more times and four more years to really ingrain that lesson that if you do not pick your yeses with intentionality, you will be saying no to a lot of other things that you also want to be doing.

Speaker 2:

And if you also happen to find yourself an Enneagram 3 or a perfectionist or type A or any of the attributes that I would say a lot of CAAs have, you're going to say yes to something and if it's without intention, you're very quickly going to find yourself burned out, overwhelmed and looking back on your life thinking how the heck did I get here? How am I up at 2 am answering some high school mom's DM and feeling guilty about not answering the DM? And this final time, learning this lesson of saying yes means also saying no was such a life-changing moment because I had the perspective of remembering all the other times that I've learned this lesson in part and I could see how this was a pattern in my life and if I didn't take this moment this time in my life spring of 2024, when I went viral talking about money and my passion for the CAA profession and how I like to use it to live my dream life. If I don't take this huge moment for me instead of for everyone else, I will continue this pattern in my life and I'll wake up when I'm 60 or 70 and 80 and wonder how I got there.

Speaker 2:

And so I decided to do something different. I decided to do something I have never done before, which is to step back, go behind the curtain, step into the shadow whatever metaphor works for you. I basically realized not only did I need to rest, but I needed to go silent or quiet. I needed to stop putting myself out there and trying to meet other people's expectations, and I stopped trying to produce and perform, even though those things felt good in the moment, I could tell that I wasn't clear on what it was that I wanted versus what I was doing for other people, and I knew that this was a time in my life. I was also just about to turn 40.

Speaker 2:

I turned 40 May 24th of 2024, and everything really just spiraled into this perfect moment where I chose myself and decided to get quiet over the course of this summer and figure out what I truly want, to say yes, to understand what that means. I then say no to, and to be super intentional about how I move forward over the next year, five years, 10 years so that I don't wake up when I'm 80 and wonder how I got there. And so I didn't know exactly how I was going to move through this moment, through this period of stepping back, but I just knew I needed to start immediately. So I did what I had to do. I wrapped up season three of the podcast, which was just another episode. I sort of posted something on Instagram saying I'm going away for a little while, I'm retreating back into myself to work on some things. I'll be back when I'm back. And I really got slow and quiet. My kids wrapped up the end of their school year.

Speaker 2:

I really challenged myself to question why it was so uncomfortable for me to not answer the DMs on the video, to not follow up with all of the emails that I had gathered at the Quad A and the leads that I had gathered for the podcast. What was it about that that made me feel so deeply uncomfortable? And I did a lot of meditation and journaling and walking and I also during this time, during this summer break, turned towards my husband and my kids to fill up my cup from them. To really understand. Do I need more than just my husband and my kids and my clinical work that I think I want to do or that feel passionate for me, like, what is it about those that I need, and could I find that elsewhere, in a way that doesn't pull me away or keep me up at night or, you know, create more work for me? And I just wanted to be so intentional about what I choose and how I spend my time. And that is such a beautiful privilege and it's something that I just want to scream from the mountaintops that the CAA profession puts you in this privileged position if you use it as a tool to have the freedom to choose, to be really intentional and I was just realizing that I wasn't using it to its full capacity because I had never gotten quiet enough to truly ask what is it that only I want, if no one's watching me, if money's not an issue, if I'm not looking for external validation, what is it that I want to have in my life? And basically that was all of May asking myself that question, all of June.

Speaker 2:

By the end of July I started to feel some clarity and certainly by August I started to really see what was for me and what was for other people, and I mean in all aspects of my life. But of course, I'm sharing the professional aspects with you, because that's mostly what you all are interested in, and I really came up with a yes to two things. I want to do these two things which I'm about to tell you, one of which, of course, is season four of this podcast. But I want to do these two things, throw my energy and the time that I have allotted to these things and sort of jump on that train and see where they go, because I know what they add to my life and I also know that I can support my other yeses. I want to say yes to my husband and my marriage. I want to say yes to my kids and to my friends and my extended friends, and I want to say yes to maintaining our house and just. I could go on and on. But I know that I can do these two things and say yes to the other things in my life that I want, and be okay with all the no's that that means. One of the no's is that my house is oftentimes quite messy. There's things that I can't do because I'm choosing to say yes to this.

Speaker 2:

My first yes is this podcast, season four. This podcast brings me so much joy that I can't get anywhere else. It fills a piece of my soul. Truly, this storytelling aspect, hearing your stories, interacting with all of you, sharing such amazing CAA stories with this community, just absolutely makes me feel whole and I couldn't say no to it. I had to do this, at least for season four. And so here I am and I'm so grateful that you're here and I'm so excited to walk this season four journey with you all, because you will be walking all of this life-changing-ness right along with me this season.

Speaker 2:

And the other yes that I am finally finally saying absolutely yes to is doing CAA Matters. Caa Matters is the wellness curriculum that I created for first year AA students. I have started marketing it to schools. I'm going to lead that and teach that and I'm really looking for AA school partners who are interested in innovation and CAA wellness and being on the cutting edge of a whole-bodied CAA, so a CAA who's healthy and thriving, not just in their grades and performance, but really can sustain a lifelong career that is fulfilling and healthy and well. So I'm moving forward with that and I won't list the things that I've said no to.

Speaker 2:

But those two yeses mean that I've said no to a lot of other professional things, and now, every time a new opportunity or time spent elsewhere comes my way, I can really filter it through this discernment of does this support my two yeses? Does this support my podcast? Yes, and the CAA matters yes, and if it doesn't, then I know it's a no for me. And that intentionality has been so freeing, it has been so joyful. It's actually opened up more time in my life to move slower, which is something I value, and to dive deeper into my meditation practice. I recently graduated from a mindfulness meditation teacher training, which is something that I wanted to do for me, and I've been incorporating that into the CAA Matters curriculum, and so those two things are really enveloping each other, and I'm just so thrilled to be on the other side of this lesson of learning that I have to be so intentional with my yeses, because saying yes to one thing means saying no to a lot of other things, and I want to be in control of what I say yes to and I don't want to be functioning just to make other people happy, and so I hope this podcast was enlightening to you. I hope hearing my story maybe gave you an aha or one step closer to learning the lesson that your life is trying to teach you.

Speaker 2:

If you're a CAA or an AA student or perspective and have any questions for me, you can go to the show notes. There's a way to text me directly. You could also follow me on Instagram at Awakened Anesthetist, and I will get back to you. When I get back to you, certainly, I am no longer swamped from the viral video that has all passed swamped from the viral video that has all passed and I just really encourage you all to consider how your CAA profession or your future profession can really allow you to live your own life by design. And if you want more stories on how other people are doing that, or to be expanded by CAA stories so that you know it's possible, keep following along. There's going to be a lot of that on season four, as well as a lot more wellness episodes things that I have found helpful as a CAA on my own wellness journey. I'm so excited to share that with all of you. All right, I think that's the story I wanted to share. That's how going viral changed my life, and let's talk soon, y'all.

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Mary Jeanne Roberts, CAA

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